Once a week we will answer a question from a customer about an issue they are struggling with, and give them advice on how to move forward in a positive direction with the help of spirituality. This week we’ve heard from Jill, who is struggling to move on from her ex after a hard breakup.
Question – I recently came out of a long-term relationship and I am feeling quite lost and like my life is completely out of my control. My relationship broke down over a long period of time, and it left me feeling heartbroken and completely emotionally drained. I want to move on but I have no idea where to start, and I am terrified of being on my own. Are there any spiritual techniques I can practice to help me move on and start a new life without my ex?
Answer – First of all, I am very sorry to hear that your breakup has left you feeling like this. I completely understand how you feel; ending a relationship is one of the hardest things we have to deal with in life, and the process understandably takes a toll. But I promise you, no matter how hurt and lost you feel now, you will not feel this way forever. Moving on is a long process, and healing takes time. Though there are no shortcuts, there are certainly a few spiritual techniques you can try to help speed up the process a little.
The first step is combating that fear of being alone. The thought of being alone forever and never finding love again is daunting of course, but trust me that this won’t happen. You will find love again, when you are ready. However, it is important to embrace this chance to be alone for a little while, and use it as an opportunity to reconnect with yourself, and take control of your own life.
It is common when you’re in a relationship to lose yourself a little bit, as you get wrapped up in your partner and your life together. Many people lose sight of their own dreams and aspirations, and put them aside to focus on making their partner happy. The problem is that when the relationship ends and the bubble bursts, you feel suddenly lost and unsure of what you want for yourself.
A big part of embracing being on your own is taking a step back and re-evaluating where you are and what you want out of life. This is your time to really prioritise yourself and your dreams, without having to worry about a partner.
Taking some time to focus on reconnecting with your inner spirit will help you realise just how strong you are, and allow you to trust yourself to make the right decisions for you. One way to do this is to write things down. This will help you process your feelings and clear your head so you can focus on the future, instead of dwelling on the past.
However, make sure to not become so used to being alone that you become isolated. When you’re hurting, you need the love and support of your family and friends. Make time to spend with loved ones, and you will reap the benefits of reminding yourself that though one relationship is over, you are still loved by many other people.
Possibly the scariest part is starting over. You said you don’t know where to start – the best way to start is to throw yourself into the deep end and get out of your comfort zone. Try something new, like joining a class or learning a new skill, or maybe even changing a career path. This change in your routine will help you feel like you’re moving forward in a positive direction.
In time, you will be so busy focusing on your new life and making yourself happy, that you will have moved on without even really noticing. And when your spirit recognises that you are ready, and the right person comes along, you will find love again.