Question of the Week: How to Make a Big Life Change

Once a week, we take a question from one of our community members and answer it here on the blog. For our first Question of the Week of 2018, we chose this topical question from Carla, who wants to make a big life change this year but is feeling overwhelmed. Here is our advice on how to take that leap.

Q - Hi, I’m Carla. Happy New Year! I was wondering if you had any advice for me. As it’s new year, I’ve been thinking about my life and what I want to achieve. I’ve been wanting to make some changes for a while but I’ve been too scared, but I’ve finally decided that this is the year I do it. I’ve been offered a promotion at work that requires me to move to a different city. They gave me time to think about it and I was going to turn it down, but I’ve decided to be brave and go for it. I’m feeling a little overwhelmed about what’s in store though, and I’m not sure how I’m going to make such a big move on my own. Please give me any tips you have! Thanks.

A - Hi Carla,

Happy New Year! First of all, congratulations on the promotion. What a great way to start the brand new year! Of course, taking a step up at work and making a big move personally at the same time must seem extremely daunting! I can completely understand your hesitation; it’s only natural to be nervous about making so many life-changing moves at once. However, the changes are definitely positive, and I think you’ll be so happy once you take the leap. Here is our advice for how to tackle such big, life-changing decisions.

Trust Yourself

First and foremost, it’s important that you trust yourself and your gut. We all have a gut instinct that can give us strong, clear messages about the situations in which we find ourselves. However, many people choose to ignore this feeling because they’re scared or convinced that it can’t be trusted.

Our gut feeling comes from our sub-conscience, and the stronger your connection to your spiritual self, the stronger these feelings will be. Take some time to listen to yourself and how you are feeling about these decisions. Despite being nervous and wary about moving, do you feel in your gut that this decision would be a good one for you and your life? If so, take the leap!

Write down your fears and face them

When we have fears, they can often grow and spiral out of control when we think about them too much. Our imaginations often cause these fears to develop from a small worry to a big, overwhelming issue that causes us to panic. The important thing is to face these fears head on and shut them down before they get out of control and stop us from living our best life.

A great way to do this is to write them down. Make a list of all of the reasons you’re scared to make this decision; maybe you’re worried you won’t do well in your new role; or you’re scared about being alone in a new place. Whatever it is, write it down so that you can see it. Once it’s down on paper and out of your head, it is easy to get a little perspective, and these things we seem much less scary. Then, give it a few days, and then go back to that list. You’ll likely find that once you’ve stopped obsessing about them, that they seem like much smaller issues.

Take small steps

When you’re facing a big life change, it can be difficult to know where to start. This makes it seem even more overwhelming and stressful, when it doesn’t need to be. The best way to tackle this is to break it down, and take small, individual steps.

To make your big change, what little changes do you need to make? Break the process into small, individual action points. In your situation, Carla, the first thing is to accept the job. Once you’ve done that, a lot of the other things will probably fall into place, and your company will most likely assist you with your move, both professionally and personally. Once you’ve made the first decision, move onto the next step. How long until you start in your new position? Where will you live? How much money do you need to make the move? Make a list of everything you need to do, and focus on one thing at a time.

Remember that you’re in control of your life

It’s important to remember that you are in control of yourself and your life. You’re in the situation where you’re making these decisions and changes now because you’ve worked hard and have been rewarded for your actions by being given a promotion. You control if you take the job, and you control how well you will do in your new role.

However, what happens if you don’t like the change? Though unlikely, what would happen if your fears about the move came true? Perhaps you don’t like your new city, or don’t feel like the new position is right for you. Does that mean you’re stuck, and have to just live with it? Of course not! Remember, you are in control of your life, and if you don’t like something, you can change it.

The likelihood is that this move will be a positive one, and that in a few months, you will look back and wonder what it was you were scared of. However, if not, remember that you have the power to change your life once more. Whatever happens, good luck!