Our community members are important to us, and we care about their problems and want to help. Once a week, we take a question from one of our members and reply right here on the blog. This week we heard from Lily, who has been single for a while and is beginning to feel fed up. Here’s our advice to her about how to be single and happy!
Q – I’ve been single for nearly three years now, and I’m starting to feel like I’ll be on my own forever. It’s really getting me down, and I don’t know what to do. Do you have any advice on how to be happy when you’re single? Thanks, Lily.
A – Hi Lily,
Thank you for your question, and your honesty. So many people feel the same as you do, but are scared to admit it. Of course being single is definitely hard, especially when it’s been a long time since your last relationship. It’s perfectly normal for it to get you down from time to time, but don’t let it take over your life. There are many benefits to being single, and a number of reasons to be happy even though you’re not in a relationship. Here’s our advice on how to be single and happy.
Realise your own value
The first thing you need to remember is that you are a complete and valuable person, all on your own. It’s too easy to get lost in a relationship and depend on your partner. Many people use the phrase ‘other half’ when talking about their partner, and though this is used as a term of endearment, it can be taken quite literally; people often lose their individuality in a relationship, and the two people merge to become one unit.
Though the feeling of being a team is obviously nice, it’s important to remember that you don’t need somebody else to be ‘whole’. You are a person who has a lot to offer by yourself, and you don’t need to rely on anybody else to feel complete. Remind yourself regularly that you are important and valuable, all by yourself.
Get to know yourself
While we’re on the topic of you; now is the perfect time to get to know yourself completely. When we’re distracted by our partner, we tend to put ourselves and our hopes and dreams second, while we focus on doing everything to make them happy. However, the only person you need to make sure is happy right now, is you.
Take some time to really dig deep and ask yourself what it is you want out of life. Are you where you would like to be in your career? Or would you like to move up the ladder, or even try something completely different? Now is the time to make that happen. Do you spend your spare time doing things you love, or are you in need of more excitement?
You have unlimited time to focus on yourself and your life now, with no strings to hold you back from whatever it is that would make you happy. Whatever it is you want to do, now is the time to do it! Get out there, and make your own dreams become a reality!
Enjoy your other relationships
I think we can all admit that our relationships with our family and friends can suffer a little when we enter a new relationship. When you’re all loved-up and spending all of your free time with your new partner, it’s easy to lose track of time and forget to reply to a few texts, or go a few weeks without catching up with a friend. Good friends understand and will be patient with you during this honeymoon period, knowing things will go back to normal in time, but it can still be annoying when you’re the friend who’s been suddenly replaced.
One of the biggest benefits of being single is the freedom and time to enjoy and cherish your friendships, and create new ones. Take this opportunity to give your family and friends your full and undivided attention. Whether it’s nights out on the town, delicious meals at your favourite restaurants, a holiday, or even just a night in, catching up and watching TV; show the important people in your life how much they mean to you.
Remember it’s not forever
When you’ve been single for a while, it can feel like you’re going to be alone forever. However, that is rarely the case. The chances are, you will meet somebody special when you least expect it, and everything will change.
The best way to be happy when you’re single is to stop focusing on the fact you’re not in a relationship. Focus instead on filling your life with interesting and fulfilling things, and having a great time on your own. If you’re happy and loving life, you will be more open and confident, and that is more attractive to potential love interests. Love will find you when you’re ready for it, and it will be an amazing surprise.